Five past five

Dear Diary,

It's early in the morning and I cannot sleep. I am scrolling through google trying to find a position at 'Buzzfeed India', but not finding a single position that fits my fresh out of engineering college, inexperienced ass. I feel like I am a perfect fit to the company and just dreaming of the day I can land either a job at such a company, or get selected in a play/film. I have not posted a video to my Youtube page in a month due to sheer lethargy. Both my legs are sprained, and so the workout session that I had joined this new year is paused. Scrolling through social media posts will be both the end of me and my creative career. Although it doesn't matter cause we're all going to die anyway in the end. So my existential crisis is somehow justifying my lack of taking action. I haven't ever professionally written, but I've been told that I am good at writing. I wish that was enough for a company like 'Buzzfeed' or 'Pocket aces'. Even though It takes me ages to write anything, it has literally taken me 5 minutes to pen this entry due to the amount of
fire riled up inside my brain. Is this my first blog post? I don't know yet. I hope I wake up, hold that thought, get enough sleep, then wake up miraculously cured of my sprain/s. Which human being sprains both feet at once.  Welcoming the new year with a twist. Literally. Anyway, this year was supposed to be different. I feel like a lot of penned up frustration has been released, but then if in case I do post this on my blog page, I hope I don't pause for a month. Let's hope for less scrolling and more working. Am I actually ending this on a philosophical note? No.

Still can't sleep. Still scrolling.
Stop.